Hope is an active, learned conviction in one’s ability to influence outcomes, sharing personal experiences and insights.
Hope is essential in leadership and impacts team performance. Hope is not just a personality trait, but a skill that can be developed through practice. There is scientific basis to hope. Neuroplasticity can be harnessed through various practices to cultivate resilience and courage in the face of adversity.
Cultivating Hope
Albert Bandura said that hope is an active, learned conviction in one’s ability to influence outcomes rather than passive wishing. Hopeful people don’t give up when faced with obstacles, but instead seek alternative routes.
Stirring Up Hope Through Leadership
Having hope, setting goals, and maintaining self-belief lead to success. Hope is an active verb, not a passive feeling. You can develop hope through learned habits and multiply it with leadership.
Hope as a Strategic Tool
Hope is a tool for leaders and individuals facing complexity. It’s not optimism or positive thinking, but the belief in one’s ability to shape a future and the creativity to find pathways to achieve goals. When hope is lost, people stop taking purposeful action and become less adaptable. You can learn to recognize and nurture hope as a fundamental force for navigating uncertainty.
Join us at 10 a.m. Eastern on sandcastleradio.org to explore how to stir up hope in your own life.
Listen to Human Being with Dr. Susan every Saturday at 10 am ET on Sandcastle Radio, America’s Hottest Online Variety and Music Station. Follow Susan at / @susanhendrich
Explore the Human Being with Dr. Susan podcast: 13 episodes
When you feel stuck, it’s rarely because you lack options. It’s because your nervous system is running the show.
That’s where the mental Pause Button comes in.
Think of the mental pause Button as a built-in pattern interrupter—a way to stop the stress loop, create space, and choose a better response. Not later. In the moment.
The Pause Button isn’t about calming down for calm’s sake. It’s about regaining agency.
When you hit an internal wall and don’t know what to do next, the Button helps you shift energy, interrupt autopilot, and move forward differently.
The Pause Button Method (3 Simple Steps)
Step 1: Install the Button
Close your eyes for 10 seconds and imagine installing a physical pause button in your mind.
Make it yours:
Big or small
Blue, gold, red, sparkly
Subtle or bold
The design doesn’t matter. The function does.
This button exists for one reason: to interrupt a stuck pattern.
Step 2: Assign It a Job
Your Button’s job is to stop emotional autopilot—fear, frustration, irritation, reactivity.
When you press it:
Emotions don’t disappear
They simply stop driving
You create a gap—and in that gap lives choice, perspective, and agility.
This is the moment you remember:
I’m not stuck. I can pivot.
Step 3: Pair It with New Language
Agility isn’t activated by force. It’s activated by reframing.
Every time you press your Button, say this—out loud or silently:
“If this moment isn’t working, I’m allowed to change it.”
That one sentence gives you permission to pivot:
Mentally
Emotionally
Strategically
Now you’re back in the driver’s seat.
What Happens After You Pause
Once the stuck pattern is interrupted, ask better questions:
What else could be true?
What’s the next right move, not the perfect one?
Where is the opportunity inside this friction?
What version of me do I want leading right now?
If this were a chapter in my story, how do I want it to end?
You’re not rewriting the past. You’re rewriting your response.
And that’s where leaders grow.
Stuckness wants you to believe there’s only one ending. Agility reminds you: you’re the author, not the character.
So the next time you feel stuck— Press the Button. Pause the pattern. Choose differently.
Agility and the Unlit Candle: A Personal Story from My Mom
Here’s a personal story about agility—a story from my mom. It’s a story that lives at the center of my family history—my personal history. Years ago, she wrote it down and titled it “The Unlit Candle.” It’s a story about disruption, resilience, and the unexpected moments when life forces you to pivot into a different version of yourself.
1970: A New Start in Delaware The year was 1970. My parents were brand new to Delaware—young, hopeful, starting out with a baby girl and a handful of dreams. My mom had left her job at the University of Illinois to care for me. My dad had just started his first role as a chemist at DuPont. That’s why they moved to Wilmington. Money was tight. Life was simple, but it was good. My mom planned my first birthday with absolute joy. She baked a beautiful cake, decorated it with balloons and baby toys, and placed one large candle in the center—unlit, waiting for the moment. Family came in by train. They rented chairs for the living room. It felt like the beginning of something.
The Fire But the morning of the celebration, just before lunch, my dad said, “Hold up. I smell smoke.” He opened the apartment door, and a wall of thick black smoke poured in. In seconds, my mom grabbed me. Everyone ran out barefoot into the sunlit parking lot, watching as the fire department fought flames pouring out of the lower level. That beautiful cake never got sliced. That candle never got lit. Later that day, once the fire was out, they were allowed back in to salvage what they could. Much was destroyed—clothes, keepsakes, their few newlywed belongings. Even the wire hangers were covered in soot and had to be scrubbed by hand. My parents had no renters’ insurance, no safety net—just each other and a baby with a birthday that never happened.
Aftermath and Unexpected Generosity My parents relocated us to a motel. My grandmother and my aunt went back home. My mother called her family, embarrassed and overwhelmed. My Aunt Judy got on a plane immediately, traveling from Illinois to help. A local professor’s parents opened their ornate home to my parents and the baby—people they’d never met, because generosity has a way of finding people who need it. Eventually, my parents moved into a small bungalow and then into the home they still live in today. One disruption after another, and yet somehow they kept finding the next right move.
The Lesson My Mom Never Wrote That’s the part my mom never wrote explicitly—but what the story teaches: agility is born in moments you never asked for. The moments where the plan burns down, literally or figuratively, and you’re left standing in the parking lot with nothing but a baby on your hip and a cake you never got to eat.
The Meaning of the Unlit Candle The unlit candle became more than a story. It became a truth—a celebration that didn’t happen, plans that got erased, a version of life that didn’t survive the smoke. But also this truth: some candles don’t need to be lit to change your life. That day taught my mother—and eventually me—that agility isn’t a personal trait. It’s a response pattern. A willingness to regroup when you’re exhausted, to pivot when you’re heartbroken, to rebuild when you’ve already rebuilt more times than feels fair. It’s the ability to say, “Okay, this isn’t the story we planned, but it’s the story we’re in, and we’ll write the next chapter from here.”
Glimpses of a New Beginning The unlit candle reminds me that every disruption contains a glimpse of a new beginning—even if you don’t see it at first, even if it’s wrapped in smoke, even if it costs you more than you thought you could bear. My mom survived that season. My parents built a life from those ashes. They restored what they could. They released what they couldn’t. And they kept moving forward.
What Agility Really Looks Like That is agility. Not glamorous. Not poetic. Not Instagram-worthy. Just steady, human, persistent movement through uncertainty. And sometimes the most powerful symbol isn’t the candle you light—it’s the candle you never got to. I’m proud of my parents. And I think part of my agility comes from that moment when we lost everything in the fire.
___________________________
Wishing you glimpses of new beginnings, even when your candle remains unlit.
Susan Hendrich, with special thanks to my amazing Mom, Virginia Hertzenberg
Turn Challenge into Change: Join ‘Human Being with Dr. Susan’ on DETV Kids! July 2025
Emotions are a powerful force in our lives, shaping our thoughts, decisions, and actions. As parents, caregivers, and educators, it’s crucial to teach our children the importance of understanding and managing their emotions. One television show segment that beautifully explores this concept is “Human Being with Dr. Susan” on DETV Kids. In this segment, Dr. Susan guides children on a journey of self-reflection, helping them name their feelings and discover the incredible power that comes with understanding and transforming challenges into positive change.
The Power of Reflection
In our fast-paced world, we often overlook the significance of self-reflection. Dr. Susan encourages children to take a moment to pause and consider how they feel. By doing so, they gain the power to understand their emotions better and, consequently, the ability to make informed choices in response to those feelings.
We’ve all experienced moments when our emotions seem overwhelming, leading to tantrums, frustration, or withdrawal. “Human Being with Dr. Susan” offers valuable tools to help children navigate these emotional waters. When we learn to reflect on our feelings, we develop our emotional intelligence, a skill that serves us well throughout our lives.
The Path from Challenge to Change
The central theme of Dr. Susan’s segment is the transformation of challenges into positive change. Life is full of hurdles and obstacles, both big and small. For children, these challenges can be as simple as sharing toys, completing school assignments, or making new friends. Through thoughtful discussion and guided activities, “Human Being with Dr. Susan” empowers kids to view these challenges as opportunities for growth.
Dr. Susan illustrates how understanding their emotions can help children make choices that lead to positive change. Instead of reacting impulsively or giving in to negative emotions, kids learn to channel their feelings into actions that can improve their situation. This crucial life skill helps children build resilience and adaptability.
Invitation to Watch “Human Being with Dr. Susan”
Are you ready to embark on a journey of emotional discovery and transformation with your child? “Human Being with Dr. Susan” on DETV Kids offers a safe and engaging platform for kids to explore their feelings, turn challenges into change, and grow emotionally. By watching the show together, you can facilitate meaningful discussions about emotions and encourage your child to apply these valuable lessons in their daily life.
“Human Being with Dr. Susan” on DETV Kids is a remarkable television show segment that promotes emotional intelligence and resilience in children. Through self-reflection, Dr. Susan empowers kids to understand their feelings, make informed choices, and transform challenges into positive change. By watching the show with your child, you can help them develop these essential life skills and set them on a path towards emotional well-being and personal growth. Don’t miss the opportunity to join Dr. Susan on this journey – tune in to DETV Kids and embark on a voyage of self-discovery and positive change today!
Seven powerful coaching questions to unlock excellence. Let’s discuss. This isn’t just about managing people; it’s about a skill crucial for leadership and personal growth. It’s a skill you and I both need.
In a discussion today with a colleague, I revisited a book that profoundly shifted my perspective on leadership and development: “The Coaching Habit” by Michael Bungay Stanier. It’s not just a good read; it’s a foundational text that unveils the simplicity and profound impact of effective questioning. Michael lays out a framework of seven deceptively simple yet powerful questions. What struck me, and what I believe is a core truth for all leaders, is this: Everyone is a coach.
Whether you lead a large organization, mentor a small team, or simply aim to guide a friend through a tough spot, the essence of coaching is invaluable. It’s about empowering others to find their own solutions, fostering autonomy and resilience. So, let’s dive into Michael’s framework, a practical guide for unlocking potential in yourself and those around you.
The Seven Essential Coaching Questions
1. “What’s on your mind?”
This is your Kickstart Question. It’s designed to bypass superficial pleasantries and dive straight into what truly occupies someone’s attention. It’s an invitation to share what’s exciting them, causing anxiety, or consuming their focus. As leaders, moving beyond small talk directly signals that you value their time and their most pressing concerns.
2. “And what else?”
Don’t underestimate the power of this Awe Question. Its simplicity belies its critical role. It serves two vital purposes:
It pushes past the initial, often superficial, response to uncover what’s genuinely at stake.
It prevents us from jumping prematurely into problem-solving mode, keeping the conversation in a crucial discovery phase.
The first thought shared is rarely the most significant. This question acts as a continuous probe, digging deeper to reveal the true underlying issues.
3. “What’s the real challenge here for you?”
This is the Focus Question, and it’s transformative. The emphasis on “real challenge” ensures we address the core issue, not just a symptom. The addition of “for you” brings the focus directly back to the individual. As a leader, you can only coach the person in front of you. This question helps them internalize the problem, preventing them from externalizing blame and encouraging personal accountability.
4. “What do you want?”
The Foundation Question clarifies the desired outcome. Asking “what do you want?” is an act of empowerment, creating psychological safety and granting autonomy. It also marks a critical pivot from reflection to action. Effective coaching facilitates progress, and clear desired outcomes are the first step toward achieving them.
5. “How can I help?”
I refer to this as the Lazy Question, but it’s anything but passive. It’s a strategic move for two key reasons:
It places ownership on the other person for the next steps, fostering self-reliance.
It prevents you from assuming you know the best course of action.
Just as “and what else?” curbs premature advice, “how can I help?” stops us from jumping into action before the true request is clear. Once a request is made, your response options are clear: “Yes,” “No,” “Perhaps, but differently,” or “Let me consider that.” The goal is clarity, not automatic obligation.
6. “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?”
This is the Strategic Question, crucial for fostering focus and prioritization. Resources—time, attention, energy—are finite. Every “yes” inherently requires a “no.” This question forces a commitment, not just to what they will do, but to what they will not.
Consider both the “no of omission” (options automatically excluded by a choice) and the “no of commission” (what must be actively set aside—be it projects, habits, or old beliefs—to fully commit to the “yes”). A true “yes” demands the clarity of boundaries.
7. “What was most useful for you?”
Finally, the Learning Question. Genuine learning doesn’t happen just by doing or telling; it’s solidified through recall and reflection. Asking this question at the close of a coaching conversation creates a vital learning moment, reinforcing key insights and embedding “aha” moments. Leaders must create space for this reflection to ensure that learning sticks and translates into lasting change.
Embracing the Coaching Mindset
This framework offers a powerful sequence, though its application isn’t rigid. You might not use all questions, or perhaps not in this exact order. The underlying principle, however, is constant: the best way to help someone develop is by asking questions and empowering them to discover their own answers. This counter-intuitive approach—resisting the urge to advise—is the hallmark of truly impactful leadership.
Put these questions into practice this week. Observe the shifts, both in others and in yourself.
What profound questions have shaped your approach to leadership and coaching? I’d love to hear your insights.
Join the Leadership | Learning | Innovation conversation at sashaphilosophy.com.
Susan E. Hendrich 