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Agility and the Unlit Candle

/ Susan Hendrich / Leave a comment

A story of disruption, resilience, and that unexpected moment when life forces you to pivot into a new version of yourself.

This video previews “Agility” on Human Being with Dr. Susan – Episode 7. Aired 11/21/25 on Sandcastle Radio, America’s Hottest Online Variety and Music Station.

Agility and the Unlit Candle: A Personal Story from My Mom

Here’s a personal story about agility—a story from my mom. It’s a story that lives at the center of my family history—my personal history. Years ago, she wrote it down and titled it “The Unlit Candle.” It’s a story about disruption, resilience, and the unexpected moments when life forces you to pivot into a different version of yourself.

1970: A New Start in Delaware
The year was 1970. My parents were brand new to Delaware—young, hopeful, starting out with a baby girl and a handful of dreams. My mom had left her job at the University of Illinois to care for me. My dad had just started his first role as a chemist at DuPont. That’s why they moved to Wilmington. Money was tight. Life was simple, but it was good. My mom planned my first birthday with absolute joy. She baked a beautiful cake, decorated it with balloons and baby toys, and placed one large candle in the center—unlit, waiting for the moment. Family came in by train. They rented chairs for the living room. It felt like the beginning of something.

The Fire
But the morning of the celebration, just before lunch, my dad said, “Hold up. I smell smoke.” He opened the apartment door, and a wall of thick black smoke poured in. In seconds, my mom grabbed me. Everyone ran out barefoot into the sunlit parking lot, watching as the fire department fought flames pouring out of the lower level. That beautiful cake never got sliced. That candle never got lit. Later that day, once the fire was out, they were allowed back in to salvage what they could. Much was destroyed—clothes, keepsakes, their few newlywed belongings. Even the wire hangers were covered in soot and had to be scrubbed by hand. My parents had no renters’ insurance, no safety net—just each other and a baby with a birthday that never happened.

Aftermath and Unexpected Generosity
My parents relocated us to a motel. My grandmother and my aunt went back home. My mother called her family, embarrassed and overwhelmed. My Aunt Judy got on a plane immediately, traveling from Illinois to help. A local professor’s parents opened their ornate home to my parents and the baby—people they’d never met, because generosity has a way of finding people who need it. Eventually, my parents moved into a small bungalow and then into the home they still live in today. One disruption after another, and yet somehow they kept finding the next right move.

The Lesson My Mom Never Wrote
That’s the part my mom never wrote explicitly—but what the story teaches: agility is born in moments you never asked for. The moments where the plan burns down, literally or figuratively, and you’re left standing in the parking lot with nothing but a baby on your hip and a cake you never got to eat.

The Meaning of the Unlit Candle
The unlit candle became more than a story. It became a truth—a celebration that didn’t happen, plans that got erased, a version of life that didn’t survive the smoke. But also this truth: some candles don’t need to be lit to change your life. That day taught my mother—and eventually me—that agility isn’t a personal trait. It’s a response pattern. A willingness to regroup when you’re exhausted, to pivot when you’re heartbroken, to rebuild when you’ve already rebuilt more times than feels fair. It’s the ability to say, “Okay, this isn’t the story we planned, but it’s the story we’re in, and we’ll write the next chapter from here.”

Glimpses of a New Beginning
The unlit candle reminds me that every disruption contains a glimpse of a new beginning—even if you don’t see it at first, even if it’s wrapped in smoke, even if it costs you more than you thought you could bear. My mom survived that season. My parents built a life from those ashes. They restored what they could. They released what they couldn’t. And they kept moving forward.

What Agility Really Looks Like
That is agility. Not glamorous. Not poetic. Not Instagram-worthy. Just steady, human, persistent movement through uncertainty. And sometimes the most powerful symbol isn’t the candle you light—it’s the candle you never got to. I’m proud of my parents. And I think part of my agility comes from that moment when we lost everything in the fire.

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Wishing you glimpses of new beginnings, even when your candle remains unlit.

Susan Hendrich, with special thanks to my amazing Mom, Virginia Hertzenberg

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Turn Challenge into Change

/ Susan Hendrich / Leave a comment

https://www.facebook.com/DeTv302/videos/237636618473247/?mibextid=zDhOQc

Turn Challenge into Change: Join ‘Human Being with Dr. Susan’ on DETV Kids!
July 2025

Emotions are a powerful force in our lives, shaping our thoughts, decisions, and actions. As parents, caregivers, and educators, it’s crucial to teach our children the importance of understanding and managing their emotions. One television show segment that beautifully explores this concept is “Human Being with Dr. Susan” on DETV Kids. In this segment, Dr. Susan guides children on a journey of self-reflection, helping them name their feelings and discover the incredible power that comes with understanding and transforming challenges into positive change.

The Power of Reflection

In our fast-paced world, we often overlook the significance of self-reflection. Dr. Susan encourages children to take a moment to pause and consider how they feel. By doing so, they gain the power to understand their emotions better and, consequently, the ability to make informed choices in response to those feelings.

We’ve all experienced moments when our emotions seem overwhelming, leading to tantrums, frustration, or withdrawal. “Human Being with Dr. Susan” offers valuable tools to help children navigate these emotional waters. When we learn to reflect on our feelings, we develop our emotional intelligence, a skill that serves us well throughout our lives.

The Path from Challenge to Change

The central theme of Dr. Susan’s segment is the transformation of challenges into positive change. Life is full of hurdles and obstacles, both big and small. For children, these challenges can be as simple as sharing toys, completing school assignments, or making new friends. Through thoughtful discussion and guided activities, “Human Being with Dr. Susan” empowers kids to view these challenges as opportunities for growth.

Dr. Susan illustrates how understanding their emotions can help children make choices that lead to positive change. Instead of reacting impulsively or giving in to negative emotions, kids learn to channel their feelings into actions that can improve their situation. This crucial life skill helps children build resilience and adaptability.

Invitation to Watch “Human Being with Dr. Susan”

Are you ready to embark on a journey of emotional discovery and transformation with your child? “Human Being with Dr. Susan” on DETV Kids offers a safe and engaging platform for kids to explore their feelings, turn challenges into change, and grow emotionally. By watching the show together, you can facilitate meaningful discussions about emotions and encourage your child to apply these valuable lessons in their daily life.

“Human Being with Dr. Susan” on DETV Kids is a remarkable television show segment that promotes emotional intelligence and resilience in children. Through self-reflection, Dr. Susan empowers kids to understand their feelings, make informed choices, and transform challenges into positive change. By watching the show with your child, you can help them develop these essential life skills and set them on a path towards emotional well-being and personal growth. Don’t miss the opportunity to join Dr. Susan on this journey – tune in to DETV Kids and embark on a voyage of self-discovery and positive change today!

7 Coaching Questions to Unlock Excellence

/ Susan Hendrich / Leave a comment

Seven powerful coaching questions to unlock excellence. Let’s discuss. This isn’t just about managing people; it’s about a skill crucial for leadership and personal growth. It’s a skill you and I both need.

In a discussion today with a colleague, I revisited a book that profoundly shifted my perspective on leadership and development: “The Coaching Habit” by Michael Bungay Stanier. It’s not just a good read; it’s a foundational text that unveils the simplicity and profound impact of effective questioning. Michael lays out a framework of seven deceptively simple yet powerful questions. What struck me, and what I believe is a core truth for all leaders, is this: Everyone is a coach.

Whether you lead a large organization, mentor a small team, or simply aim to guide a friend through a tough spot, the essence of coaching is invaluable. It’s about empowering others to find their own solutions, fostering autonomy and resilience. So, let’s dive into Michael’s framework, a practical guide for unlocking potential in yourself and those around you.

The Seven Essential Coaching Questions

1. “What’s on your mind?”

This is your Kickstart Question. It’s designed to bypass superficial pleasantries and dive straight into what truly occupies someone’s attention. It’s an invitation to share what’s exciting them, causing anxiety, or consuming their focus. As leaders, moving beyond small talk directly signals that you value their time and their most pressing concerns.

2. “And what else?”

Don’t underestimate the power of this Awe Question. Its simplicity belies its critical role. It serves two vital purposes:

  • It pushes past the initial, often superficial, response to uncover what’s genuinely at stake.
  • It prevents us from jumping prematurely into problem-solving mode, keeping the conversation in a crucial discovery phase.

The first thought shared is rarely the most significant. This question acts as a continuous probe, digging deeper to reveal the true underlying issues.

3. “What’s the real challenge here for you?”

This is the Focus Question, and it’s transformative. The emphasis on “real challenge” ensures we address the core issue, not just a symptom. The addition of “for you” brings the focus directly back to the individual. As a leader, you can only coach the person in front of you. This question helps them internalize the problem, preventing them from externalizing blame and encouraging personal accountability.

4. “What do you want?”

The Foundation Question clarifies the desired outcome. Asking “what do you want?” is an act of empowerment, creating psychological safety and granting autonomy. It also marks a critical pivot from reflection to action. Effective coaching facilitates progress, and clear desired outcomes are the first step toward achieving them.

5. “How can I help?”

I refer to this as the Lazy Question, but it’s anything but passive. It’s a strategic move for two key reasons:

  • It places ownership on the other person for the next steps, fostering self-reliance.
  • It prevents you from assuming you know the best course of action.

Just as “and what else?” curbs premature advice, “how can I help?” stops us from jumping into action before the true request is clear. Once a request is made, your response options are clear: “Yes,” “No,” “Perhaps, but differently,” or “Let me consider that.” The goal is clarity, not automatic obligation.

6. “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?”

This is the Strategic Question, crucial for fostering focus and prioritization. Resources—time, attention, energy—are finite. Every “yes” inherently requires a “no.” This question forces a commitment, not just to what they will do, but to what they will not.

Consider both the “no of omission” (options automatically excluded by a choice) and the “no of commission” (what must be actively set aside—be it projects, habits, or old beliefs—to fully commit to the “yes”). A true “yes” demands the clarity of boundaries.

7. “What was most useful for you?”

Finally, the Learning Question. Genuine learning doesn’t happen just by doing or telling; it’s solidified through recall and reflection. Asking this question at the close of a coaching conversation creates a vital learning moment, reinforcing key insights and embedding “aha” moments. Leaders must create space for this reflection to ensure that learning sticks and translates into lasting change.

Embracing the Coaching Mindset

This framework offers a powerful sequence, though its application isn’t rigid. You might not use all questions, or perhaps not in this exact order. The underlying principle, however, is constant: the best way to help someone develop is by asking questions and empowering them to discover their own answers. This counter-intuitive approach—resisting the urge to advise—is the hallmark of truly impactful leadership.

Put these questions into practice this week. Observe the shifts, both in others and in yourself.

What profound questions have shaped your approach to leadership and coaching? I’d love to hear your insights.

Join the Leadership | Learning | Innovation conversation at sashaphilosophy.com.

Future-Proof Your Career: Core Skills You Need for 2030

/ Susan Hendrich / Leave a comment

What skills will you need to succeed five years from now? The future of work is rapidly evolving, and the World Economic Forum’s Future of Jobs Report 2025 highlights the crucial skills we need to thrive in 2030. According to the report, analytical thinking is the most sought-after skill, with 7 out of 10 companies considering it essential in 2025. But it doesn’t stop there. Resilience, flexibility, agility, leadership, and social influence are also crucial. What about Artificial Intelligence (AI) and big data? Yup, it’s no surprise that these elements of technological literacy will be in high demand. But among my favorites are creative thinking, curiosity, and lifelong learning, along with motivation and self-awareness. These are skills we can build today!

Let’s explore some of the top skills you’ll need to succeed:

  • Analytical Thinking: Sharpen your ability to evaluate information, solve complex problems, and make data-driven decisions.
  • Resilience, Flexibility, and Agility: Embrace change, adapt quickly to new situations, and bounce back from setbacks.
  • Leadership and Social Influence: Inspire and motivate others, communicate effectively, and build strong relationships.

These aren’t just buzzwords; they’re the keys to unlocking future opportunities. Invest in developing these skills today, and you’ll be well-prepared to navigate the changing landscape of work and achieve your career goals. Where can you go to learn? Try LinkedIn Learning.

#FutureofWork #Skills2030 #CareerDevelopment #WorldEconomicForum

Want to read on? Check out the Future of Jobs Report 2025

Thanks for joining me. Let’s keep the conversation going. Our future depends on it.

Join the Leadership | Learning | Innovation conversation at sashaphilosophy.com.

Change again? Good grief!

/ Susan Hendrich / Leave a comment

How Change is Like Grief

People experience different emotions when faced with change. Change can be viewed as a grieving process of sorts. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross described five stages of grief in her seminal work, ‘On Death and Dying’ in 1969.

The five stages include:

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance (+ Moving On)

Kubler-Ross described the experiences of terminally ill patients and the psychological stages they go through when coming to terms with their condition. Her work on grieving process can be adapted to help us understand that individuals go through these same stages when faced with any big change, including changes at work.

Different Faces – Different Paces

Different people move through the stages at different speeds, and there may be some overlap between the stages. It is important for leaders to recognize this individual process. A person’s history, the organization’s history, the type of change and the consequence of change also impact an individual’s response to change and movement through the stages.

How Can Leaders Help Throughout The Stages?

Shock / Denial

  • Start communicating that there is a change early on. This minimizes the ‘Shock/Denial’ phase, as people will have begun to see that there is a need for change, even if they are unaware of the form that it will take.
  • When the change initiative is announced, give reasons that reduce complacency and highlight a need for change. Communicate in a way that is clear and touches people emotionally, not just with loads of data. Fully communicate the end vision of the change and what your intentions are.
  • Don’t try too hard to sell people on the idea that things are better for them; they are not ready to hear this.

Anger

  • Practice patience and empathy, and don’t try to suppress conflict. Provide a verbal outlet for people to vent their upset feelings. When leaders provide opportunities for grievances and frustrations to be aired constructively, bitterness and frustration can be diminished.
  • Although people will be angry that doesn’t mean that what they say has no value, they may have legitimate concerns that could affect the success of the change initiative.
  • Remember that  most likely, people are not attacking you personally. Remain calm and patient.
  • Often leaders have been made aware of a change initiative long before their teams, so although they may be at later stages (eg, be at “Acceptance/Moving on” while general staff are still at “Shock/Denial”).  Exercise patience.

Bargaining

When people start trying to bargain, ask them to give the new dispensation a chance. A lot of bargaining is done while people are still angry. Once the anger dissipates, so does much of the bargaining.

Acceptance

  • Help people acknowledge that it is the end of an era, support them in their new roles and encourage them to take responsibility. Set goals with them of which they can take ownership.
  • Continue your role as a sounding board for complaints and questions. Ask ‘How do you feel about this?’ to understand individuals’ emotional state.
  • Begin to stress the benefits of the new situation and how it can work for the individual.
  • If new teams were formed, provide help with group dynamics. People are generally less concerned with the tasks they are given than how they fit into a new group.
  • Plan for some early successes for the change initiative and then communicate them loudly. Once people can see that it is working then they will be less skeptical and more positive about the change.
  • Make sure the necessary resources are available for them to succeed, be it equipment or training or just coaching and guidance.

Moving On

Empower individuals to take the ball and run with it. Let them find ways of using the new set up to create stretch goals and encourage them to push performance.

Let employees innovate and take risks within the new set-up. Let them not only see ways of making the new system work in their favor but put those into practice.

For the individuals who really are taking the ball and running with it, reward them and promote them. Use them to show others what is possible. Having a fellow colleague really driving performance forward using the changes is worth far more than managers telling people things are/will be better. Once people can see it working for a colleague they will be far more receptive to the change.

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Your turn:

What “stage” of change are you leading through right now?