Goals, Gaps, and Gifts: Mentor / Mentee MatchupMagic
An ideal mentor/mentee matchup blends three key elements: Goals, Gaps, and Gifts.
GOALS: Mentor and mentee should have compatible goals and aspirations. For example, if your goal is to become a director, choose a mentor with experience as a director or other leadership role. If you aim to build confidence in delivering presentations, find a mentor who dazzles you when they are on the stage.
GAPS: A good mentor can fill in the gaps in the mentee’s knowledge and experience. For example, if you are new to the industry, choose a mentor who can teach you about the industry and help you develop skills.
GIFTS: Mentor and mentee should have complementary gifts and talents. For example, if you are a creative thinker, choose a mentor who is good at strategic planning and execution. Having complementary skills allows the mentee to see a different way of approaching novel situations.
Think about your own experience as a mentor or mentee. How did your goals, gaps, and gifts intersect?
This year I wanted to try something new to honor Memorial Day. Let’s learn together about the history and traditions associated with Memorial Day, a federal holiday observed in the United States on the last Monday in May. It is a day to remember and honor the men and women who have died while serving in the United States Armed Forces.
Memorial Day originated after the American Civil War to commemorate the Union and Confederate soldiers who died in that conflict. Over time, Memorial Day has expanded to honor all American military personnel who made the ultimate sacrifice in service to their country.
Produced in honor of those who made the ultimate sacrifice. God Bless the USA.
Perception can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. The classic leadership book, The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson, shaped my leadership approach. They teach the power of Perception. Consider the story of The Monk and the Travellers:
THE MONK AND THE TRAVELLERS
One day a traveller was walking along a road on his journey from one village to another. As he walked he noticed a monk tending the ground in the fields beside the road. The monk said “Good day” to the traveller, and the traveller nodded to the monk. The traveller then turned to the monk and said “Excuse me, do you mind if I ask you a question?”.
“Not at all,” replied the monk.
“I am travelling from the village in the mountains to the village in the valley and I was wondering if you knew what it is like in the village in the valley?”
“Tell me,” said the monk, “What was your experience of the village in the mountains?”
“Dreadful,” replied the traveller, “to be honest I am glad to be away from there. I found the people most unwelcoming. When I first arrived I was greeted coldly. I was never made to feel part of the village no matter how hard I tried. The villagers keep very much to themselves, they don’t take kindly to strangers. So tell me, what can I expect in the village in the valley?”
“I am sorry to tell you,” said the monk, “but I think your experience will be much the same there”.
The traveller hung his head despondently and walked on.
A while later another traveller was journeying down the same road and he also came upon the monk.
“I’m going to the village in the valley,” said the second traveller, “Do you know what it is like?”
“I do,” replied the monk “But first tell me – where have you come from?”
“I’ve come from the village in the mountains.”
“And how was that?”
“It was a wonderful experience. I would have stayed if I could but I am committed to travelling on. I felt as though I was a member of the family in the village. The elders gave me much advice, the children laughed and joked with me and people were generally kind and generous. I am sad to have left there. It will always hold special memories for me. And what of the village in the valley?” he asked again.
“I think you will find it much the same” replied the monk, “Good day to you”.
“Good day and thank you,” the traveller replied, smiled, and journeyed on.
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THE POWER OF PERCEPTION
Tell me how this story impacts you? Does your own perception of situations evolve based on the attitude you bring? Sure makes a difference for me. Choose wisely.
“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.” — General Colin Powell
At the end of each workday when I walk out of the office building, I hear the same words while heading toward the door, “All right, Susan, you have a great night!”
Christie, our company’s steward of the campus front entrance, is always ready with a smile and a kind wish to cap off the day.
Christie Melchiore, April 2023
I treasure this tiny ritual. And I know I’m not alone. Christie freely shares her genuine joy with all who pass her way.
Her daily message reminds me that everything is, indeed, “All right.”
For me, Christie has come to represent the hope and possibility of renewal. No matter how the day went upstairs, you can count on a kind smile when you walk out the door. She’s a bright light. And her light helps me cascade a light forward onto the path of those I encounter.
Are all of Christie’s days easy? I’m sure they aren’t. Are all of her moments bright? Can’t possibly be. But still she chooses to shine that light. As a wise colleague once said, “Choice is a superpower.” I am lucky to be in the path of this every-day superhero.
I’m sharing this moment with you, because I wonder if there is someone in your life whose simple acts of kindness makes a difference? Let’s call it out.
Please take a moment to share your thoughts, or even an example of someone whose optimism is a force multiplier for you.
“Praise Publicly, Correct Privately” is an inclusive leadership approach that helps leaders establish a culture of trust and effectively communicate with their team members. I first learned the concept decades ago when I read, The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. Praise Publicly, Correct Privately changed the way I lead others. In fact, it changed the way I interact with the world. Praise Publicly, Correct Privately isn’t just good leadership advice; it’s also just common sense. But sometimes common sense isn’t all that commonly practiced…
I witnessed a situation today that runs counter to Praise Publicly, Correct Privately. Calling out someone in front of a group, especially when you are in a position of power, does not reflect on the person being shamed as much as it reflects on the person doing the shaming. It is astonishing how quickly positive energy and enthusiasm can dissolve into awkward silence and injured retreat. Repair can certainly happen, but it’s hard to “unhear” public shaming. A high-performing team has plenty of room for light-hearted jokes. But how do you know when the line is crossed from light-hearted to heavy-handed? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the difference. Thoughts to begin the conversation:
When people are praised for their work in front of others, it can have a powerful effect on their motivation and productivity. On the other hand, when people are criticized for their work in front of others, it can be demotivating and damaging to their self-esteem.
The key to effectively using this technique is to understand when and how to use it. When praising a team member, it is important to be specific and to highlight their specific contributions to the team. For example, instead of simply saying “good job,” it is more effective to say “I really appreciate how you took the lead on that project and made sure it was completed on time.” This type of specific feedback helps the team member understand what they did well and how they can continue to improve.
When correcting or giving feedback/feedforward to a team member, it is important to do so privately and in a constructive manner. This means that the criticism should be focused on specific areas of improvement and should be delivered in a way that is designed to help the team member learn and grow. For example, instead of saying “you did a bad job,” it is more effective to say “I noticed that you struggled with X and I think it would be helpful if we worked together to improve this area.”
Praise Publicly, Correct Privately helps to create a positive and supportive work environment. When people feel that their work is appreciated and that they are being given constructive feedforward, they are more likely to be motivated and engaged in their work. Additionally, this technique can help to improve communication and trust between team members and leaders.
I would love to hear your ideas on Praise Publicly, Correct Privately.
Susan E. Hendrich 