Trust: Unlock the Secrets of Human Connection

Trust is fundamental to our connection with others, underpinning every successful relationship, every thriving organization, and every meaningful interaction. Theodore Roosevelt is quoted as coining the phrase, “People don’t care what you know until they know that you care.”

If trust is the bedrock upon which all lasting success is built, how do we build it? How do we maintain it? How do we repair it? I’ve been reflecting on the brilliant work of David Maister, Charles Green, and Robert Galford in their book, “The Trusted Advisor,” and their powerful Trust Equation.

This Trust Equation offers a clear framework for understanding the components of trust.

• T = Trustworthiness: The outcome we seek.
• C = Credibility: Do people believe what I say? This isn’t just about technical expertise; it’s about being honest and complete, both intellectually and emotionally. It’s about demonstrating that I understand the facts, but also that I understand the human element.
• R = Reliability: Do I do what I say I’ll do? It’s the consistent delivery, the repeated experience of promises kept. It’s the bedrock of dependability.
• I = Intimacy: Can people feel safe sharing their vulnerabilities with me? This isn’t about romantic intimacy, but about emotional closeness and honesty. It’s about creating a space where people feel understood and valued.
• S = Self-Orientation: This is the denominator, the factor that can erode trust most quickly. Am I focused on myself, or on serving others? Am I listening to understand, or to respond?

What strikes me most about this equation is its simplicity and its profound truth. It highlights that trust is multifaceted. I can be highly credible, but if I’m self-oriented, trust will suffer. I can be reliable, but if I lack intimacy, I’ll never build deep connections. I can be the most transparent (intimate) partner, but if I don’t do what I say I’ll do, trust is shattered.

Why this matters

In a world increasingly driven by transactional interactions, we are at risk of losing sight of the human element. We can forget that people don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And they can only truly connect with your “why” when they trust you.

Think about the leaders you admire. They don’t just possess technical skills; they inspire trust. They are credible, reliable, intimate, and they put the needs of others before their own.

How can I apply this in my own life?

• Focus on others: I must actively listen, ask open-ended questions, and genuinely care about the people I serve.
• Be consistent: My actions must align with my words. I need to build a track record of reliability.
• Be vulnerable: I need to share my own struggles and create a safe space for others to do the same.
• Check my motives: Am I driven by a desire to serve, or by a desire for personal gain?

David Maister’s Trust Equation is a powerful reminder that building trust is an ongoing process. It requires conscious effort and a genuine commitment to serving others.

May we all strive to build organizations and relationships built on trust, where people feel valued, understood, and inspired. Because when we do, we create a world where everyone can thrive.

Want more? Check out this Trust Equation video from the THNK School of Leadership: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXWDl0Vik48