trust

The Trust Equation: “I don’t care what you know until I know that you care”

/ Susan Hendrich / Leave a comment

Trust: Unlock the Secrets of Human Connection

Trust is fundamental to our connection with others, underpinning every successful relationship, every thriving organization, and every meaningful interaction. Theodore Roosevelt is quoted as coining the phrase, “People don’t care what you know until they know that you care.”

If trust is the bedrock upon which all lasting success is built, how do we build it? How do we maintain it? How do we repair it? I’ve been reflecting on the brilliant work of David Maister, Charles Green, and Robert Galford in their book, “The Trusted Advisor,” and their powerful Trust Equation.

This Trust Equation offers a clear framework for understanding the components of trust.

  • T = Trustworthiness: The outcome we seek.
  • C = Credibility: Do people believe what I say? This isn’t just about technical expertise; it’s about being honest and complete, both intellectually and emotionally. It’s about demonstrating that I understand the facts, but also that I understand the human element.
  • R = Reliability: Do I do what I say I’ll do? It’s the consistent delivery, the repeated experience of promises kept. It’s the bedrock of dependability.
  • I = Intimacy: Can people feel safe sharing their vulnerabilities with me? This isn’t about romantic intimacy, but about emotional closeness and honesty. It’s about creating a space where people feel understood and valued.
  • S = Self-Orientation: This is the denominator, the factor that can erode trust most quickly. Am I focused on myself, or on serving others? Am I listening to understand, or to respond?

What strikes me most about this equation is its simplicity and its profound truth. It highlights that trust is multifaceted. I can be highly credible, but if I’m self-oriented, trust will suffer. I can be reliable, but if I lack intimacy, I’ll never build deep connections. I can be the most transparent (intimate) partner, but if I don’t do what I say I’ll do, trust is shattered.

Why this matters

In a world increasingly driven by transactional interactions, we are at risk of losing sight of the human element. We can forget that people don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And they can only truly connect with your “why” when they trust you.

Think about the leaders you admire. They don’t just possess technical skills; they inspire trust. They are credible, reliable, intimate, and they put the needs of others before their own.

How can I apply this in my own life?

  • Focus on others: I must actively listen, ask open-ended questions, and genuinely care about the people I serve.
  • Be consistent: My actions must align with my words. I need to build a track record of reliability.
  • Be vulnerable: I need to share my own struggles and create a safe space for others to do the same.
  • Check my motives: Am I driven by a desire to serve, or by a desire for personal gain?

David Maister’s Trust Equation is a powerful reminder that building trust is an ongoing process. It requires conscious effort and a genuine commitment to serving others.

May we all strive to build organizations and relationships built on trust, where people feel valued, understood, and inspired. Because when we do, we create a world where everyone can thrive.

Want more? Check out this Trust Equation video from the THNK School of Leadership: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXWDl0Vik48

Praise Publicly, Correct Privately

/ Susan Hendrich / Leave a comment

“Praise Publicly, Correct Privately” is an inclusive leadership approach that helps leaders establish a culture of trust and effectively communicate with their team members. I first learned the concept decades ago when I read, The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. Praise Publicly, Correct Privately changed the way I lead others. In fact, it changed the way I interact with the world. Praise Publicly, Correct Privately isn’t just good leadership advice; it’s also just common sense. But sometimes common sense isn’t all that commonly practiced…

I witnessed a situation today that runs counter to Praise Publicly, Correct Privately. Calling out someone in front of a group, especially when you are in a position of power, does not reflect on the person being shamed as much as it reflects on the person doing the shaming. It is astonishing how quickly positive energy and enthusiasm can dissolve into awkward silence and injured retreat. Repair can certainly happen, but it’s hard to “unhear” public shaming. A high-performing team has plenty of room for light-hearted jokes. But how do you know when the line is crossed from light-hearted to heavy-handed? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the difference. Thoughts to begin the conversation:

When people are praised for their work in front of others, it can have a powerful effect on their motivation and productivity. On the other hand, when people are criticized for their work in front of others, it can be demotivating and damaging to their self-esteem.

The key to effectively using this technique is to understand when and how to use it. When praising a team member, it is important to be specific and to highlight their specific contributions to the team. For example, instead of simply saying “good job,” it is more effective to say “I really appreciate how you took the lead on that project and made sure it was completed on time.” This type of specific feedback helps the team member understand what they did well and how they can continue to improve.

When correcting or giving feedback/feedforward to a team member, it is important to do so privately and in a constructive manner. This means that the criticism should be focused on specific areas of improvement and should be delivered in a way that is designed to help the team member learn and grow. For example, instead of saying “you did a bad job,” it is more effective to say “I noticed that you struggled with X and I think it would be helpful if we worked together to improve this area.”

Praise Publicly, Correct Privately helps to create a positive and supportive work environment. When people feel that their work is appreciated and that they are being given constructive feedforward, they are more likely to be motivated and engaged in their work. Additionally, this technique can help to improve communication and trust between team members and leaders.

I would love to hear your ideas on Praise Publicly, Correct Privately.