What are you carrying that nobody at work can see?
We talk a lot about workload. Meetings. Deadlines. Emails. Expectations.
But we don’t talk nearly enough about “the load.” Grief. Caregiving. Health concerns. Financial stress. Relationship strain. Parenting. Uncertainty.
The emotional weight of being the person everyone else turns to.
And leadership can add another layer: you’re carrying your own backpack while people are handing you pieces of theirs.
In this episode of imPERFECT: Better After Broken, executive coach and leadership consultant Jeff Servello PCC, RBLP-T, and clinical psychologist and executive coach Susan Hendrich, PsyD, explore what happens when workload sits on top of everything else we’re carrying.
We talk about the difference between being busy and burdened, the hidden emotional labor of leadership, why capable people often become very good at appearing fine, and how to care about people without absorbing what belongs to them. We also revisit the powerful Cleveland Clinic video, “Empathy: The Human Connection to Patient Care,” and the reminder behind it: we see people’s behavior, but we rarely know the whole story behind it.
So instead of immediately asking, “What’s wrong with this person?” What if we asked: “What might this person be carrying?” Compassion doesn’t mean lowering standards. Empathy isn’t the absence of accountability.
Understanding someone’s context can change how we enter the conversation while still being clear about what matters. And there’s another person whose load deserves our attention: ourselves. What are you carrying quietly? What has gotten heavier lately? Where might you need support? And what are you pretending is fine that isn’t?
NEW EPISODE: The Invisible Load of Leadership: What You’re Carrying That Nobody Sees.
Unlocking the clarity, capability, and confidence to lead more intentionally.
I’m Susan E. Hendrich, PsyD — a leadership and organizational effectiveness strategist, executive coach, psychologist, speaker, and host of Human Being with Dr. Susan.
Across more than two decades of working with leaders, teams, and organizations, I’ve become convinced of something: People rarely need someone to tell them who to become. They need the space, insight, challenge, and support to see what is possible — and the courage to move toward it. That belief sits at the center of my work.
I help people strengthen how they lead themselves, how they show up for others, and how they navigate the moments that ask more of them — greater responsibility, change, uncertainty, conflict, transition, growth, or simply the realization that the way they have always done something may no longer be the way forward.
My approach draws from psychology, organizational behavior, behavioral science, executive coaching, leadership development, and decades of real-world experience inside complex organizations. And I continue to learn.
The credentials below represent some of that ongoing development — additional tools, disciplines, and perspectives I can bring to the people I work with. But they are only part of the story. If you’d like to know more about my background and the work that shaped my perspective, read my full bio.
And if you’re interested in the more human side of leadership, growth, relationships, resilience, and becoming, join me on YouTube for Human Being with Dr. Susan.
I’m glad you’re here.
The credentials below represent part of that continuing development.
The certificate represents 30 training hours, a portion of iPEC’s Level 2 Coach Training Program.
Participants learn and practice 20+ specific, powerful coaching skills; gain a thorough, working understanding of the 7 Levels of Energy and how to leverage them to transform the way someone approaches their life, work, and relationships; and learn the four main types of energetic blocks to help clients work through obstacles and tap into their greatest potential.
Earners of the Energy Leadership™ Index Master Practitioner (ELI-MP) certification have completed the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) training necessary to coach and debrief clients utilizing this researched, proprietary tool. Earners are proficient in the training, experience, and skills to analyze and interpret the data from the ELI Assessment results and partner with clients to uncover opportunities for deeper awareness, optimal performance, and growth.
iPEC’s Energy Leadership™ Index (ELI) assessment is a research-backed assessment that provides insights into how you show up in various aspects of your life. The assessment measures your ability to lead yourself and others to take positive, productive, and sustainable action.
The ELI produces a tangible result, giving you awareness about who you are and your level of engagement in the world. You’ll also be able to see your energetic reaction to stress so that you can recognize—and if you choose to, consciously modify—that response utilizing the 7 Levels of Energy.
Join us on Human Being with Dr. Susan, available LIVE on Saturdays at 10 am ET on Sandcastle Radio – America’s Hottest Online Variety and Music Station. Recordings available on all podcast platforms and socials.
Hope is an active, learned conviction in one’s ability to influence outcomes, sharing personal experiences and insights.
Hope is essential in leadership and impacts team performance. Hope is not just a personality trait, but a skill that can be developed through practice. There is scientific basis to hope. Neuroplasticity can be harnessed through various practices to cultivate resilience and courage in the face of adversity.
Cultivating Hope
Albert Bandura said that hope is an active, learned conviction in one’s ability to influence outcomes rather than passive wishing. Hopeful people don’t give up when faced with obstacles, but instead seek alternative routes.
Stirring Up Hope Through Leadership
Having hope, setting goals, and maintaining self-belief lead to success. Hope is an active verb, not a passive feeling. You can develop hope through learned habits and multiply it with leadership.
Hope as a Strategic Tool
Hope is a tool for leaders and individuals facing complexity. It’s not optimism or positive thinking, but the belief in one’s ability to shape a future and the creativity to find pathways to achieve goals. When hope is lost, people stop taking purposeful action and become less adaptable. You can learn to recognize and nurture hope as a fundamental force for navigating uncertainty.
Join us at 10 a.m. Eastern on sandcastleradio.org to explore how to stir up hope in your own life.
Listen to Human Being with Dr. Susan every Saturday at 10 am ET on Sandcastle Radio, America’s Hottest Online Variety and Music Station. Follow Susan at / @susanhendrich
Explore the Human Being with Dr. Susan podcast: 13 episodes
Seven powerful coaching questions to unlock excellence. Let’s discuss. This isn’t just about managing people; it’s about a skill crucial for leadership and personal growth. It’s a skill you and I both need.
In a discussion today with a colleague, I revisited a book that profoundly shifted my perspective on leadership and development: “The Coaching Habit” by Michael Bungay Stanier. It’s not just a good read; it’s a foundational text that unveils the simplicity and profound impact of effective questioning. Michael lays out a framework of seven deceptively simple yet powerful questions. What struck me, and what I believe is a core truth for all leaders, is this: Everyone is a coach.
Whether you lead a large organization, mentor a small team, or simply aim to guide a friend through a tough spot, the essence of coaching is invaluable. It’s about empowering others to find their own solutions, fostering autonomy and resilience. So, let’s dive into Michael’s framework, a practical guide for unlocking potential in yourself and those around you.
The Seven Essential Coaching Questions
1. “What’s on your mind?”
This is your Kickstart Question. It’s designed to bypass superficial pleasantries and dive straight into what truly occupies someone’s attention. It’s an invitation to share what’s exciting them, causing anxiety, or consuming their focus. As leaders, moving beyond small talk directly signals that you value their time and their most pressing concerns.
2. “And what else?”
Don’t underestimate the power of this Awe Question. Its simplicity belies its critical role. It serves two vital purposes:
It pushes past the initial, often superficial, response to uncover what’s genuinely at stake.
It prevents us from jumping prematurely into problem-solving mode, keeping the conversation in a crucial discovery phase.
The first thought shared is rarely the most significant. This question acts as a continuous probe, digging deeper to reveal the true underlying issues.
3. “What’s the real challenge here for you?”
This is the Focus Question, and it’s transformative. The emphasis on “real challenge” ensures we address the core issue, not just a symptom. The addition of “for you” brings the focus directly back to the individual. As a leader, you can only coach the person in front of you. This question helps them internalize the problem, preventing them from externalizing blame and encouraging personal accountability.
4. “What do you want?”
The Foundation Question clarifies the desired outcome. Asking “what do you want?” is an act of empowerment, creating psychological safety and granting autonomy. It also marks a critical pivot from reflection to action. Effective coaching facilitates progress, and clear desired outcomes are the first step toward achieving them.
5. “How can I help?”
I refer to this as the Lazy Question, but it’s anything but passive. It’s a strategic move for two key reasons:
It places ownership on the other person for the next steps, fostering self-reliance.
It prevents you from assuming you know the best course of action.
Just as “and what else?” curbs premature advice, “how can I help?” stops us from jumping into action before the true request is clear. Once a request is made, your response options are clear: “Yes,” “No,” “Perhaps, but differently,” or “Let me consider that.” The goal is clarity, not automatic obligation.
6. “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?”
This is the Strategic Question, crucial for fostering focus and prioritization. Resources—time, attention, energy—are finite. Every “yes” inherently requires a “no.” This question forces a commitment, not just to what they will do, but to what they will not.
Consider both the “no of omission” (options automatically excluded by a choice) and the “no of commission” (what must be actively set aside—be it projects, habits, or old beliefs—to fully commit to the “yes”). A true “yes” demands the clarity of boundaries.
7. “What was most useful for you?”
Finally, the Learning Question. Genuine learning doesn’t happen just by doing or telling; it’s solidified through recall and reflection. Asking this question at the close of a coaching conversation creates a vital learning moment, reinforcing key insights and embedding “aha” moments. Leaders must create space for this reflection to ensure that learning sticks and translates into lasting change.
Embracing the Coaching Mindset
This framework offers a powerful sequence, though its application isn’t rigid. You might not use all questions, or perhaps not in this exact order. The underlying principle, however, is constant: the best way to help someone develop is by asking questions and empowering them to discover their own answers. This counter-intuitive approach—resisting the urge to advise—is the hallmark of truly impactful leadership.
Put these questions into practice this week. Observe the shifts, both in others and in yourself.
What profound questions have shaped your approach to leadership and coaching? I’d love to hear your insights.
Join the Leadership | Learning | Innovation conversation at sashaphilosophy.com.
