Seven powerful coaching questions to unlock excellence. Let’s discuss. This isn’t just about managing people; it’s about a skill crucial for leadership and personal growth. It’s a skill you and I both need.
In a discussion today with a colleague, I revisited a book that profoundly shifted my perspective on leadership and development: “The Coaching Habit” by Michael Bungay Stanier. It’s not just a good read; it’s a foundational text that unveils the simplicity and profound impact of effective questioning. Michael lays out a framework of seven deceptively simple yet powerful questions. What struck me, and what I believe is a core truth for all leaders, is this: Everyone is a coach.
Whether you lead a large organization, mentor a small team, or simply aim to guide a friend through a tough spot, the essence of coaching is invaluable. It’s about empowering others to find their own solutions, fostering autonomy and resilience. So, let’s dive into Michael’s framework, a practical guide for unlocking potential in yourself and those around you.
The Seven Essential Coaching Questions
1. “What’s on your mind?”
This is your Kickstart Question. It’s designed to bypass superficial pleasantries and dive straight into what truly occupies someone’s attention. It’s an invitation to share what’s exciting them, causing anxiety, or consuming their focus. As leaders, moving beyond small talk directly signals that you value their time and their most pressing concerns.
2. “And what else?”
Don’t underestimate the power of this Awe Question. Its simplicity belies its critical role. It serves two vital purposes:
- It pushes past the initial, often superficial, response to uncover what’s genuinely at stake.
- It prevents us from jumping prematurely into problem-solving mode, keeping the conversation in a crucial discovery phase.
The first thought shared is rarely the most significant. This question acts as a continuous probe, digging deeper to reveal the true underlying issues.
3. “What’s the real challenge here for you?”
This is the Focus Question, and it’s transformative. The emphasis on “real challenge” ensures we address the core issue, not just a symptom. The addition of “for you” brings the focus directly back to the individual. As a leader, you can only coach the person in front of you. This question helps them internalize the problem, preventing them from externalizing blame and encouraging personal accountability.
4. “What do you want?”
The Foundation Question clarifies the desired outcome. Asking “what do you want?” is an act of empowerment, creating psychological safety and granting autonomy. It also marks a critical pivot from reflection to action. Effective coaching facilitates progress, and clear desired outcomes are the first step toward achieving them.
5. “How can I help?”
I refer to this as the Lazy Question, but it’s anything but passive. It’s a strategic move for two key reasons:
- It places ownership on the other person for the next steps, fostering self-reliance.
- It prevents you from assuming you know the best course of action.
Just as “and what else?” curbs premature advice, “how can I help?” stops us from jumping into action before the true request is clear. Once a request is made, your response options are clear: “Yes,” “No,” “Perhaps, but differently,” or “Let me consider that.” The goal is clarity, not automatic obligation.
6. “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?”
This is the Strategic Question, crucial for fostering focus and prioritization. Resources—time, attention, energy—are finite. Every “yes” inherently requires a “no.” This question forces a commitment, not just to what they will do, but to what they will not.
Consider both the “no of omission” (options automatically excluded by a choice) and the “no of commission” (what must be actively set aside—be it projects, habits, or old beliefs—to fully commit to the “yes”). A true “yes” demands the clarity of boundaries.
7. “What was most useful for you?”
Finally, the Learning Question. Genuine learning doesn’t happen just by doing or telling; it’s solidified through recall and reflection. Asking this question at the close of a coaching conversation creates a vital learning moment, reinforcing key insights and embedding “aha” moments. Leaders must create space for this reflection to ensure that learning sticks and translates into lasting change.
Embracing the Coaching Mindset
This framework offers a powerful sequence, though its application isn’t rigid. You might not use all questions, or perhaps not in this exact order. The underlying principle, however, is constant: the best way to help someone develop is by asking questions and empowering them to discover their own answers. This counter-intuitive approach—resisting the urge to advise—is the hallmark of truly impactful leadership.
Put these questions into practice this week. Observe the shifts, both in others and in yourself.
What profound questions have shaped your approach to leadership and coaching? I’d love to hear your insights.
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Susan E. Hendrich 