Posted by: Susan Hendrich | July 4, 2017

Four things to say to the people who matter most

Tree Birds
Nostalgia is following me lately, partly because some important and precious things are changing (more on that next time).
Not knowing what the future holds, we humans tend to turn backwards to review those memories and moments and people that have made our lives meaningful.
I’ve always been close to my family. During the past several years, more than ever, I’m aware of our mortality. Given a heightened awareness of the clicking of life’s clock, I’m in the throes of this retrospective reflection on my family, friends and others who have impacted me.
Tonight I came across the notion of “four things” we should be sure to say to the people important to us, while we still can. This simple list pulled together loose ends that have been dangling in my heart for some time. I thought I’d share the list with you.

Four things to say to the people who matter in your life before it’s too late

  1. I love you
  2. Thank you
  3. Please forgive me
  4. I forgive you
~ From the Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono, a cleansing ritual of reconciliation and forgiveness.

What is Ho’oponopono?

“Hoʻoponopono” is defined in the Hawaiian Dictionary as:

(a) “To put to rights; to put in order or shape, correct, revise, adjust, amend, regulate, arrange, rectify, tidy up make orderly or neat, administer, superintend, supervise, manage, edit, work carefully or neatly; to make ready, as canoemen preparing to catch a wave.”

(b) “Mental cleansing: family conferences in which relationships were set right (hoʻoponopono) through prayer, discussion, confession, repentance, and mutual restitution and forgiveness.”

Literally, hoʻo is a particle used to make an actualizing verb from the following noun, as would “to” before a noun in English. Here, it creates a verb from the noun pono, which is defined as: “…goodness, uprightness, morality, moral qualities, correct or proper procedure, excellence, well-being, prosperity, welfare, benefit, true condition or nature, duty; moral, fitting, proper, righteous, right, upright, just, virtuous, fair, beneficial, successful, in perfect order, accurate, correct, eased, relieved; should, ought, must, necessary.”

Ponopono is defined as “to put to rights; to put in order or shape, correct, revise, adjust, amend, regulate, arrange, rectify, tidy up, make orderly or neat.”

 Ira Byock discusses those Four Things to say to people in your life who matter in his book, “The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book About Living

COMING SOON:

  • The Last Time
  • The Terrible Secret
  • Story Corps: StoryCorps changed my life. If you haven’t heard of StoryCorps, it’s time.
  • Necessary Losses
  • Biily Joel – Captain Jack
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